year is 2392
child: mommy i can't sleep
mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
mother: WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP, I GOT A BIG COCK
iamthemeep: kyrianne: If you’re ever depressed, just look at porn titles. It’ll make everything better. The da vinci load
raggedydean: mastermindbyakuyatogami: in english (UK) you dont really say “i love you” you say “ill bash ye fookin ead in i sware on me mum” which is closer to “i’ll beat you up”, i love that, “i’ll beat you up”
unfollower: no see lesbians are not more accepted than gay men they’re more sexualized please do not get those 2 things confused
machokeonmydick: *makes a sim of me* *makes a sim of u*
boy: shit baby you're so wet already
girl: that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something
nicotinehearts: omigawdmatt: racheyzane: do you ever look at somebody and wonder how they moan during sex no but thanks now i have a new habit forced upon me whenever i go out i think about this post at the most inappropriate times and it has ruined my life
That moment when you realize that The Lion King...
beelzebub-36: arthur-christmas-claus: And they weren’t even the same species. “But it’s not natural!” “There’s no way any child raised by two men could be happy, or even content.” “But now their child will be gay.” “He will never have a normal, real relationship.” “He’ll be socially inept and never amount to anything.” Respected king. Loved father. I rest my case. And...
mutisija: when the battle music starts to play but you cant see the enemy
travelviatardis: kevinstoledeanspie: shnks: cedricdigory: conorgaynard: theres a difference between shipping and being fucking insane this applies to both tumblr and amazon.com i think amazon is worse r u sure tumblr user kevinstoledeanspie r u rlly sure
sarlaccvagina: petition for Avengers 2 to end on a freeze-frame like this
indigostohelit: so today i learned that in the late 1800s-early 1900s, the navy became concerned about possible homosexual activity among their sailors so they sent in decoys, whose job was to pretend to want to engage in homosexual activity in order to find gay sailors except then the job of the decoy got popular like, really popular like… worryingly popular? reports said that the decoys...
eriridan: eriridan: so i have two days of school left and my teacher decided to give us an essay, and i’ll p much be turning in this thank
mskneesocks: you’re the only one who understands me google
earthnation: earthnation: lol this dumbass moth is flying into my laptop screen lol u dumb moth IT FLEW UNDER MY FINGER WHILE I WAS TYPING IT JUST COMMITED SUICIDE IT PROBABLY READ THIS POST AND GOT SAD IM SO SORRY MOTH IM SORRY U DIED BY MY HAND R.I.P U WERE ONE CHILL MOTH
wwworldwide: flash 9 is required to suck my dick
thechampagneandthestars: people from other countries think that the UK is filled with beautiful, posh, benedict cumberbatch type humans, when in reality
fuckwhyischoosingaurlsohard: do you ever come up with a story in your head and you’re like ‘OMG THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING IN THE HISTORY OF EVER I THINK I’LL WRITE THIS’ but then you don’t know how to write and its just
brvdleysoileau: how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl
morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
soudas: can you even sue the president like what if you tried to sue obama and you just got a letter back saying “no” and he came to your house and did the worm
suojure: malijuanastyles: i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop...